Nov 14, 2009


I’m done sleeping. I’ve been sleeping my whole life. Between all those sweet dreams and frightening nightmares, I’ve missed my life. I open my eyes to see your face, frightened and vain at once. There you stand looking straight through me, like I don’t exist. I scream, I shout, and I slip into an ecstatic state of insanity, still, you can’t see me. I weep, I beg, and wear on a pathetic sorry mask of despair, and yet, you can’t see me. As I am falling apart into pieces of what I was, as I plead for your attention, you look right through me like I’m not even there. Am I there? Are you there? As I slowly slip into my psychosis and lose all control over my very being, I transcend into euphoria. And as I float out of my flesh and bones, I no longer see you. In fact, you never existed. I close my eyes and sleep on clouds, for years I continue to do so. I lose all touch of what is real and I leap into all that’s not. In a world where you don’t exist, in a dream where you can’t enter even if you tried, I’m there, sleeping on clouds, so high I can’t see where I came from. For years and years I slept, away from you, away from what I could remember as your warm hands on my face and your sweet words whispered in my ear. For years, all I felt were the clouds and all I could hear was the silence of the skies. I was not full. I was not complete. But I was free.